i have realized about something. thanks to him, now i am completely understand why some people refuse to admit their feelings to the one they love or have a crush on. it is not always about pride. but it is about the expectation. expectation what always hurts you in the end.
before his birthday, i'd been thinking for weeks about confessing my feelings towards him. i'd set myself to worry less about acceptance or rejection. i thought it would better for me to just let him know how i feel, so i wont feel burdensome anymore and it'd easier for me to move on. well, NOT REALLY. like it or not, expectation is always there. it is some kind like inevitable feeling i suppose.
a simple phone call. an unexpected one. we talked almost an hour or so. mostly, about my feelings towards him. ahh, i hate to admit that i miss the long conversation that we had. there are a lot of other things i wanted to say, but since that was unexpected call from him, i was sort of unprepared. hmm. can we have another long talk please? LOL. i should have built a strong wall, that could withstand the simple call.
looking back at my previous posts, which are mostly about him. i cant remember when was the last time i posted a happy post. :/
should i just pretend that i've moved on? act like im happy, like nothing happened, even though i know deep down, he's still the one that fills my head. however, i wonder how this could help me from mending?
i must have a faith on myself. believe that i can heal in no time. have a faith on yourself, girl.
i deserve to be happy too. :)