Self-Contemplation

I hate my friends. I totally hate my friends right now. Like seriously, you guys can stop being so supportive to something that is so contrary to my decision. They know how vulnerable, and fickle minded I am. Ugh!! I've decided to just giving up to all of this, but they still insist me to keep going. :(

The Optimistic Ayu, is not so optimistic when it comes to this. This is like a big gambling that would influence my life in the future, SERIOUSLY NO KIDDING. THIS COULD PUT AN END TO MY (NYAWA NYAWA IKAN LEVEL OF) SELF-ESTEEM IF THE SAME SH*T HAPPENS AGAIN.

I'm still traumatized by this, but thanks to them. I nearly forgot what happened to me previously. I am well-aware that is not a right move to make, but it is soooooo hard to stick with my decision, since my friends keep forcing me to do the contrary.

How I wish my dear friends would understand the mind-battle happens around my head is almost driving me insane! I dont want to end up looking like a desperate woman chasing after a guy, that she's never met. I mean like, ISNT THE WHOLE THING IS CRAZY ALREADY AND THEY EVEN TRYING TO CONVINCE ME THAT THE GUY ALSO HAS THE MUTUAL FEELING TOWARDS ME LIKE OMG GUYS YOU NEVER EVEN TALK TO HIM AND I DO AND HE NEVER SHOWS ANY INTEREST OTHER THAN JUST LAYAN-ING MY STUPID RANDOM QUESTIONS OMG LET ME CRYYYYYYY

I hate you, friends. And when I say I want to give up, stop replying, "Lets see what you gonna say about it tomorrow morning." It's like you guys are expecting me to change my mind already fakyu